I don’t share on this topic often because being single is not our identity. We are Christ’s children regardless of our relationship status. I am striving to live on mission for Jesus, rather than only being known as a girl that is still single.
That being said, I’m in this with you.
In a world where two makes sense and one is just a problem to fix, the battle can be intense.
Our world, combined with our own desires, has convinced us that the secret to our fullest joy in life rests in a wedding day and happy home of our own. Yet the search for joy continues once those are in our possession.
So here is what I'm learning to embrace today in my singleness and it's bringing me more joy in the end.
1. Marriage is beautiful.
You might be wondering how embracing this reality could really lead to joy in your singleness. But for me, admitting what is true has brought me more freedom than pretending to ignore it and tell myself that it’s just not that great.
Marriage is beautiful, when given from God. Having a companion is a treasure even with the hardest battles it might bring. If I try to pretend that this isn’t true in hopes of gaining more contentment, I’m going to constantly be fighting a harder battle when I come up against the reality of a friend's beautiful marriage.
When done according to His plan marriage is something to treasure, but done any other way and it’s something that can literally hinder you in the beautiful life God created for you. So admire the married friend who did it God’s way, and pray that you someday might enjoy that season of life as well (maybe through tears at times). But let it be a reminder to you as well, that God’s ways are better than our own, regardless of the way they take.
2. A life long companion is not in God’s promise.
This might sound like another slap across the face, but remembering this fact has actually led me into greater freedom.
God promises me that He has goodness stored up for those who fear Him and take refuge in Him (Psalm 31:19), but nowhere does He promise me a godly husband. This leaves me with no choice but to believe that God does not equate a good life with a married life. He is far more creative than that.
My life will have God’s abundant goodness overflowing within it if I entrust each day to Him, not if I wait for married life.
He promises joy. He promises peace. He promises love, and grace, and endless days of heaven’s bliss, but He has not promised me a husband.
It's okay for me to grieve the life that I dream of having but may never hold. I grieve by bringing it before a loving Father and submit my life into His perfect hands once again. He knows me better than I know myself and I can rest in this.
3. If I get married I will loose my singleness. (And all the single ladies are giving that a glad hallelujah.)
But think for a moment.- on the day of your wedding or even engagement, you will loose something in life that may never return.
You are no longer on your own. You are no longer able to make decisions just between you and Jesus. You will have someone else to continually care for, think about, work things through with, and all of that can be beautiful, but it’s a beautiful thing to live just me and Jesus as well.
My singleness might be very temporary, and if that’s the case I want to use up every drop of the opportunities that it brings. If I have a marriage someday, that means that I’ll step into it without any regrets. If I don’t have a marriage someday, that means I’ll love a life of adventure and purpose. It really is a win- win situation.
So to all of my single sisters out there in this world, I want you to know that I’m cheering for you as I run along side you.
We are not ones to be pitied, but those who have been promised hope and a life full of Heaven's goodness.
Yes, the battles come for us every single day. I’ve cried tears over my desires and walked through intense times of learning to trust, and I’m sure I have many more times like that in the future, but in the end I know that my God is good. His plans will lead to my fullest joy and His greatest glory. That is my hope for today and every day after.
With great love,