On Expectations Unmet

I had a day at home, and my mind had already begun to fill with all of the things that I would accomplish.

The bathrooms needed a good cleaning, the steps needed vacuuming, and there were baskets of laundry to be folded.

I flew through the morning - breakfast made, vitamins given to all of the family members, dressed and ready for the day.

I moved on to cleaning the bathroom, and by the time I had come downstairs, I felt the familiar feeling of overwhelm starting to creep in.

The boys were at it once again with their usual mess-making, and I started to wonder how I would manage to keep up with them, let alone get the house clean.

To add to it all, today began the third trimester in this pregnancy, and the aches and pains were making an even earlier appearance. Our little girl likes to move, and so often it feels that her position of choice is enough to send me to the couch to lie down.

I sat down on the couch, accepting my defeat, knowing that if I kept pushing myself, the day would only begin to spiral more and more out of my control.

I was feeling grumpy, and I felt justified in it.

I was struggling not to see the two little boys in front of me as the enemies to my well-planned day.

But then I sat and watched them for a few moments more. I let a smile spread across my face as they giggled to each other in their mess-making.

And I thought on this…

They care little about the state of the house, and they know nothing of the to-do list that has been pushed to the side.

All that they know is that mommy is home with them, and home is a very good place to be.

Though the cleaning matters, their little hearts matter more, and they will remember most how their mama made them feel, not how their home looked. Do they know that they are cherished, even amidst the mess?

In my desire to get things done, I almost missed a perfect hour of books and snuggles on the couch that meant the world to these two little boys.

I am slower, and I am capable of less right now. But I hope and pray that my little boys look back on these days and remember a mama who loved them more than a perfect-looking home.

So for now, we will be snuggling up at home, with some of our very favorite books, and daily learn to focus on what matters most at this present time.