The Journey of Singleness

The moment you saw this title you probably thought, "She has no idea." Yes, it's true I'm young, nineteen to be exact. I won't even try to pretend I have answers. That's not my goal. I'm just starting down this journey and I can't say I've faced the battles you've faced, or I know what you're going through. I don't want to preach to you about what you should be doing and what you're doing all wrong, I simply want to share what I'm learning myself on this journey and where God is taking me. So before you hit that little "x" please give me a chance and hear what I have to say.

When I was younger I used to watch girls that were older than me, close to the age I am now, and often I didn't like what I saw. Many times I saw girls that once were full of joy slowly turn into joyless people. I saw girls discontent and subtly turning bitter, girls that once knew what they wanted and were willing to fight for what they believed slowly let down their guard and allow compromise to creep in. They did all the right things, had all the boxes checked but to them it appeared that God didn't hold up His end of the deal, after all, they're still alone, they're still single. I saw girls searching, trying, and slowly they gave up.

I determined that I would never be that girl. After all, can't they see how much they have to be grateful for? Can't they see how beautiful their lives would be if they would just have some joy?

Well, now that a few years have passed, I get it. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not for one moment condoning this behavior. Not on your life. I'm simply saying, I see how it happens. I understand where things change.

I think I can safely say one of the things that surprised me the most about becoming an adult was the pressure to be in a relationship. You watch as friend after friend starts dating and eventually gets married and by the time you've been matched up a dozen times you start to wonder if maybe there's something wrong with you, maybe you won't ever have someone.

We hear how singleness is a gift, that Christ satisfies! We have no lack because Jesus fulfills! Many of us are plain sick of hearing it over and over again since we aren't seeing it in our daily lives but ladies let me tell you. The reason we don't see it isn't because it's not true. It's because we aren't allowing it to be come true.

God is not a liar and His promises are always true. But going down that path, allowing Him to make it a reality in our lives is the harder way. It's easier to give into discontentment and bitterness. But sin is always going to be easier, ladies. To say no and pursue something more, that is when it gets tough. But though it gets tough, it is far from impossible. You see we aren't left on our own. God's heart leaps for joy when we choose the harder way, the way less traveled. The moment we turn to Him, He's there, ready to take over. That's when we see His promises are true. That's when we see that no matter how long we go without, a few years or forever, we are never left empty.

Our gaze must never leave His face. For, where we are looking is where we will go. It's easy to get caught up in things other than Him. To look to relationships and weddings as the goal rather than Christ. But girls, let's stop a moment and think beyond just this stage in life. Why waste the precious time we have on trying to control something so far out of our grasp. He gave us a life to live and He wants us to live it! There are things to be done there are people to reach. There are memories to make and people to meet. Things like self-pity and bitterness have no place in our lives. We have everything to be joyful about.

When I was younger I used to watch girls that were older than me, girls that were single, girls that were "alone" by the worlds standard. I saw them living life and let me tell you that although they were a rarity, they were radiant.

Sure they faced difficulty and temptations were there. But they weren't facing it alone anymore. The moment they put their foot down and chose the higher path they found a hand their to hold them and a God ready to take over. They found the load was lifted and they no longer had to bear it. They saw beyond themselves to a world in need and they were ready.

Do you have girls in your life who are walking through singleness? Want to bless them like crazy? Here are a few ideas...

  • Encourage them towards Christ rather than trying to find them the perfect man. 
  • Pray for them. The temptations are fierce and the enemy tries hard.
  • Don't lead them to believe that their value rests on whether or not they'll be married someday.
  • Take an interest in their lives further than wanting to know which guy they are interested in.
  • To those married. Be a beautiful example of what a Christ focused marriage ought to be. Be a reminder that it is a beautiful thing when directed by God. Many have given up hope and have been turned off to it. They need that refreshing reminder.

"For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things."
Psalm 107:9 ESV


  1. I love this-at the start where you say I might be thinking 'you have no idea', well you could easily think that of me. And you'd be right! I'm still in high school-I really do have no idea-but as I'm getting older I know I will need to think about it-indeed, I do already-and it's great to read your perspective, and encouragement!

    1. Thank you, Amelia! It can be a challenging journey for sure, but it's so wonderful to rest in a God who will lead us through as I pray He continues to lead you!

  2. Thanks for sharing. I'm only a couple years older than you and I'm in the same boat. Thanks for the reminder to live life alone with Christ.
    God Bless

    1. You're welcome Kimberley! Praying He continues to lead you through this part of your journey.

  3. Hi Amanda! This is such a sweet post. It is SO easy to give in to discontentment and bitterness when we don't get what we want (no matter what it is that we want). This stays true once married.

    Thanks for sharing your heart, and beautiful image you chose with it! I'd be interested in why you chose that particular photograph...

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Terrence! I've been told that many times by married friends and that is why I so desire to start learning this lesson now. It's good to be reminded of that!

      As far as the photo...To be perfectly honest I generally add an image that is recent and one of my favorites. Sometimes I choose one for a specific reason, this time it was just random. I'm a big fan of fog and rainy days, which makes this photo one of my favorites. Later, I realized it was a little gloomy after just trying to inspire hope and joy...One of my goals is to work on coordinating photos with my posts better.